Ask Yourself These Questions Before Joining The Oregon Militia'

We've all been there. You're sitting at home. You're bored. You believe that the government is actively trying to hurt you but you don't know how or why. You wish you could take down Obama and those fat cats in Washington. But how? You're just one person with disposable income, high self-esteem, and a job that will allow you to leave for an extended period of time, no problem.

Then, BOOM, a bunch of terrorists armed protestors occupy a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon. Perfect! Here's your chance to show this tyrannical government that people like you (people who love freedom and who can oppose the federal government with guns and yet still be considered nonthreatening) have been oppressed for too long! And NOBODY is gonna tell you any different!

Sure, the local townspeople don't support the occupation.

And, sure, the two people who were the reason for the militia's original formation don't support the occupation.

AND, SURE, the FBI doesn't take it seriously.

But that's not the point! In fact, you're not sure what the point of this whole thing is, exactly. Luckily, that's not important either. What's important is that you're angry and Hillary Clinton lies. It's time for action! It's time to join the Oregon militia!

Here are questions you need to ask yourself before you're ready to join!

1. Ya mind sleepin' in yer truck?

2. If yer gotta take a leak, can yer do it out back behind the pantry? There's no running water. Kletus is still working on it.

3. Would yer mind bringing your own food? And a boombox? We only have the one.

4. How long can ya put up with Skip?

5. Do us a favor and make sure the kids don't get into Randy's last bottle of Gentleman Jack? We keep hidin' it, but they keep findin' it.

6. There's no Kid Rock concerts in the area. Is that gonna be a problem?

 

7. Can you break it to Jon that nobody invited him and he should go back to his family? All he's doing is sitting in his truck farting around on Facebook!

9. I know it's a hike, but wouldja go No. 2 out behind the hill past the pick-ups? Be careful not to slip down the hill like Skip did.

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